Let us talk about SEX: Moving Beyond Birds and Bees

Sexual Education, or as we like to address it with its PG euphemism, Family Life Education, is far from being accepted as a necessary component of education.

Sex education is high quality teaching and learning about a broad variety of topics related to sex and sexuality, exploring values and beliefs about those topics and gaining the skills that are needed to navigate relationships and manage one’s own sexual health. Sex education may take place in schools, in community settings, or online. Planned Parenthood believes that parents play a critical and central role in providing sex education.

In a country that reports high rates of teenage pregnancies and sexual abuse, one would think that the need for a curriculum focusing on gender equality, the importance of consent, and boundaries, would not be a matter of debate.

The reality, however, is that sexuality education for adolescents is a highly controversial topic in India. It is seen as offensive to Indian values, and concerns that it might lead to risky sexual behaviour and promiscuity.

Take the reaction when the central government in 2007 announced the launch of the Adolescence Education Programme in schools, along with the NACO, NCERT and UN agencies. Thirteen states called for an immediate ban as they felt that comprehensive sexuality education was against the Indian culture. Little has changed in the last 10 years. There is still a ban on Adolescence Education Programme in at least five states across India, and there is no uniformity in the way the subject is approached.

Sexuality education, as the UNESCO defines it, “provides opportunities to… build decision-making, communication and risk reduction skills about many aspects of sexuality…. encompasses the full range of information, skills and values to enable young people to exercise their sexual and reproductive rights and to make decisions about their health and sexuality”.

Indians, sometimes even the well-read urban kind, often tend to attach a whole lot of sensitivity to the topic of sex, regarding it with the most vicious taboo. It is thus a natural consequence that education that teaches their children about sexual well-being is met with the highest resistance possible – from parents, teachers, lawmakers and nosy neighbors, especially nosy neighbors.

Despite propaganda, and repeated favourable policies, it has been constantly rejected in various states in India. A deep-rooted sense of morality binds the sentiment of a large population from seeing the benefits and necessities of launching such an education program throughout the country. It is largely believed that talking about sexuality and its awareness may instead corrupt young adolescents.

A study was conducted in collaboration with UNICEF and the Population Council India about adolescents (the pimply teenagers between 10 and 19 years of age comprising nearly 250 million of India’s population) based on research conducted and published between 2002-2013.

They went to incredible details, but to summarize, adolescents face challenges in various aspects. Lack of education, child labor, lack of nutrition, substance abuse, child sexual abuse and a lack of understanding of their sexual and reproductive health are only some of the glaring shortcomings in their well-being.

The lack of comprehensive data on all adolescents makes it difficult to exactify the impact these problems have on them. However, here are some of the direct consequences of these issues, among the Indian youth.

Quality sexual education is imperative to a society of young adults making smart sexual health decisions and valuing consent in college where hookup culture can be prevalent. Adolescents making safe and smart decisions in their sex lives comes from having reliable information on protecting themselves and their partners.

Sexual education courses is to provide clear and accurate information to help young people make these good choices.

One of the most notable trends is that sexual education seems to be covering broad topics such as abstinence, awareness of sexually transmitted infections, the importance of respectful relationships and the need for protection from pregnancy and infection.

The many myths of sexual health commonly linger into late adolescence and adulthood, never being addressed in a classroom by a qualified teacher. Instead, they are debunked in a BuzzFeed article or after extensive Google searches. It can be a harsh reality check when you really actually experience the gravity of making decisions about your sexual health. This experience leaves many overwhelmed and confused as they enter adulthood.

Research shows that comprehensive sexuality education delays sexual initiation and leads to a fall in sexually transmitted diseases. This is critical in a country like India where rates of sexual violence against women are high and discriminatory attitudes towards women persist. For a meaningful social change, reaching out to boys and girls on issues like consent and gender equality becomes critical.

We have to go beyond looking at controlling adolescent fertility from the perspective of reducing unwanted pregnancies.

CYBERBULLYING

The humanitarian crisis has cultivated a ‘New Normal’ vitality for all of us. Ranging from quarantine greenhouse dates to online classes and good-byes, we all have harmonized to the culture. Technology played an integral role in maintaining the continuity as it brought new dimensions to the responsibilities of educators and mentors. 

But we need self-introspection to rethink the ethical use of technology. If Zoom is that easy to hack into, it’s likely to expect kids and teens trying to follow suit. The era where gadgets are the ‘toys’ for the kids plus the ‘Lockdown’ has increased the fear of ‘Cyberbullying.

 

Cyberbullying is defined as “sending or posting harmful or cruel text or images using the Internet or other digital communication devices”. Cyberbullying involves the use of information and communication technologies, such as e-mail, cell phone and pager text messages, instant messaging, defamatory personal Websites, and defamatory online personal polling Websites, to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behaviour by an individual or group that is intended to harm. 

In India, an estimated 71 million children aged between 5-11 years access the Internet on devices of their family members, constituting about 14 percent of the country's active Internet user base of over 500 million. Two-thirds of internet users in India are in the age group of 12-29 year (Data shared by the Internet & Mobile Association of India). Data and statistics have highlighted that post lockdown, the internet has amplified the risk of cyberbullying, including online discrimination for children and young people.

 

Cyberbullying ranges from flaming to Catfishing. 

Flaming is a confrontation often happens in online spaces, which entails one or more bullies attacking a particular person for their views or comments.

Exclusion is singling-out of the targeted person and to purposefully exclude them from chats.

Cyberstalking is a type of harassment that involves one or more bullies going to great lengths to gather information about a particular person, continually frightening or threatening them, following them around social media and other sites, and potentially crossing the line into physical stalking.

Outing is the malicious release of private information about a person to embarrass or humiliate by spreading rumours about someone’s personal life, sexuality etc. through pictures, screenshots, videos.

Masquerading is creating a fake identity to harass someone anonymously or to impersonate someone else, often called “fraping,” such as pretending to be the victim or a significant other to create a negative reputation for the victim. 

Trolling is to provoke victims through the use of insults, controversial topics or off-topic posts into acting out in a similarly angry way.

Catfishing refers specifically to those cyberbullies who steal photos and information from a victim’s social media account and recreate a fake one of their own, mimicking and pretending to be the victim. 

Students with higher risk of being bullied are often targeted because of their visible appearance, 

Of all children who are bullied, more than one third reported bias-based bullying, a form of bullying that targets someone because of who they are or what they look like. Potential victims include LGBTQ youth, students with disabilities, and religious students, especially those who wear symbols of their religion. Students with a higher risk of being bullied are often targeted because of their visible appearance.

Girls and young women are targeted due to body image or sexuality, and are more often harassed over social media. Girls are more likely than boys to be victims of cyberbullying; bullying statistics show that 38% of girls who use social media report being bullied online, compared to 26% of boys.

Cyberbullying Self-Harm

If left unchecked, the effects of cyberbullying can lead to extreme stress and depression, and students who are victims may feel drawn to self-harm as a result of their experiences. 

However, the victims of bullying are not the only ones who are vulnerable to self-harm and suicidal behaviours. 

Young people who cyberbully others are at a significantly higher risk of experiencing these feelings than those who don’t.

Cyberbullying can be devastating for victims and their families. The psychological harm inflicted by cyberbullying, just like bullying, is reflected in low self-esteem, school failure, anger, anxiety, depression, school avoidance, school violence, and suicide. 

It is even possible that the damage from cyberbullying would be greater than bullying because there is no escape for the victims; harmful material could be easily preserved as well as quickly and widely spread.

For the cyberbullies, the consequences of their actions can be very severe, including being suspended or expelled from school and being removed from sports teams, clubs, and activities. Certain types of cyberbullying can even be considered criminal.

What did students do after they were cyberbullied? 

Apparently, only a few try to take revenge; the majority of students chose not to inform anyone. Some chose to get away from the cyberbully. Few try to take revenge on the cyberbully or bully others.  

Some inform parents and siblings. Few students reported to school adults (e.g., teachers, school administrators).

“If you were cyberbullied at school or at home, would you report the incident to a school counselor, teacher, or administrator?”

 ‘NO’, that’s what most of the students answer.

The secret of Cyberbullying being SECRETIVE

The fear of not being understood, made fun of kept most of the teens away from reporting to their educators. The thought of them getting into trouble either because of being at fault or for no reason made them escape from the best advice. 

‘Why are you exacerbating the problem?

Parents remarks like: ‘We are restricting your access to technology. So, No Phone, No Social Media.”

Some thought it was “no big deal.” 

The above reasons reflect the importance of teaching students about, ‘ Cyber threats’. 

What are students' beliefs about cyberbullying? Why do they think people behave this way?

Some think various factors cause the problem, ranging from feeling insecure, angry, jealous, or mean, to feeling bored or having family issues. A troubling finding, however, is that the majority believe that cyberbullies do it for fun. 

Even more disturbing is the fact that one in five perceived cyberbullying as a “cool” act. This might be explained by students' perception that technology is exciting. These students might think that using it for aggressive acts is creative. Further, they might not realize the seriousness of cyberbullying.

 For example, one student's narrative, “I bully online and it does not mean anything,” demonstrates that some fail to see the negative effect of cyberbullying or bullying on victims. The actual reason behind this perception is unclear; nonetheless, it deserves our serious consideration because this is a potentially dangerous perception.

 Some think that nothing can be done about Cyber victims. Some summarize this feeling: “No one cares. Deal with it yourself.” Some hold the belief that this is a serious problem and needs to be stopped. 

Another serious theme emerged relating to freedom of speech. One in six students considered that people have the right to say anything they want, even if what they say hurts someone or violates someone's privacy. 

So, How can we combat cyberbullying yet respect and exercise our freedom of expression? 

Although we understand that there is no absolute freedom of speech, balancing the two is the ultimate question.

One out of three students believes that what happens online should stay online which reflects a general perception that cyberspace is separated from the real world. But what we do online affects what we do in real life. 

Designing educational systems: Creating our future in a changing world

Addressing cyberbullying should be a collective effort on the part of schools, families, students, and society. Because cyberbullying happens outside of school boundaries, schools might direct such issues back to parents, saying that they have no legal jurisdiction. However, cyberbullying can be rooted in school or vice versa, even if the incidents appear to be initiated using school property. This requires schools to consider the development of comprehensive programs to fight cyberbullying, including detailed and unified policies as well as effective programs to educate students. 

Establishment of Systematic Programs 

First, schools need to establish systematic programs to stop cyberbullying. Such programs should develop strong policies on both traditional bullying and cyberbullying.

 Administrators should investigate current acceptable-use policies for technology (e.g., mobile, Internet) in the schools. Telling others such as school adults or family members remains an effective strategy for combating cyberbullying. 

It is important to establish easy and multiple ways of reporting. For example, we could create help lines (e.g., a phone line), e‐mail, or Web links, and provide a box or similar device in hot spots in schools so students can report incidents or offer suggestions anonymously.

Teaching about Cyberbullying

Second, schools should educate school adults, students, and parents about cyberbullying and provide clear procedures to follow when cyberbullying occurs.

 At the fundamental level, adults, including teachers and parents, need to keep pace with new technology to understand how students communicate and how cyberbullying happens. Effective strategies, therefore, need to be included in school adults' professional development opportunities. Schools can also provide opportunities for parents to learn such strategies.

 

Similarly, approaches to cyberbullying issues need to go beyond the one-time workshop mode for students and be part of regular curriculum learning. 

Such education can take place in different school situations, including classrooms, assemblies, and continuing education programs. For example, schools can use forums not only to mediate between cyberbullies and cyber victims, but also to offer opportunities for students to develop adaptive skills, such as dealing with emotional conflict and building positive behavioral patterns. Such forums help to build a strong rapport and trustworthy relationships between students and school adults as well as among students. 

Responsibilities associated with the use of Technology 

Students, a key group in fighting cyberbullying, need to learn responsibilities associated with the use of technology. They should be aware of the consequences of misuse of technology so that responsible behaviours can be promoted at an early age. They need to understand the dangers that exist and the importance of getting help from responsible adults when cyberbullying occurs. 

PANDEMIC & MAKING THE BEST USE OF IT 

Cyberbullying has been on the rise before lock down – some reports suggest that just 20% of bullying takes place at school now. The strain placed on mental health caused by being confined to the home for weeks at a time could be making matters worse. These unusual circumstances means that some kids may be venting their frustration online – and their classmates become the targets.

With the aim of addressing these concerns, the National Council of Educational Research and Training (NCERT) and UNESCO New Delhi Office developed an information booklet titled “Safe online learning in the times of COVID-19” to raise awareness of students and teachers on staying safe online. The booklet will be instrumental in keeping children, young people safe online through basic do’s, and don’ts that will help parents and educators teach their children how to use the internet safely.

“UNESCO is committed to ensure access to safe, inclusive and health promoting learning environments for all children. It is imperative that websites, digital platforms, social media platforms are free of Cyberbullying, if children have to access quality education. This information booklet titled ‘Safe online learning in times of Covid19’ highlights the negative consequences of cyberbullying and ways to eliminate and prevent the same”. UNESCO and NCERT are pleased to develop this booklet and hope that it acts as a valuable tool in creating a safer online environment.”

                        -Eric Falt, Director and Representative, UNESCO New Delhi

Pandemic and Parents : Working together

With COVID-19 closing schools in many states, children are turning to online schooling and with this comes a huge increase in device use by most children and teens. This is actually a wonderful opportunity for parents to spend some time talking with their child as to what cyberbullying means, and to talk through issues their child may be experiencing. It is also a great time for parents to establish guidelines and take the time to check-in and ensure that their child’s online behaviour is acceptable.

Younger children and tweens really should not be having “privacy” from their parents online. Parents need to be empowered to oversee what their elementary and middle school children are doing and with whom they are chatting. 

To think there wouldn’t be any cyberbullying during this time would be unrealistic, especially with so many children having excess frustration and a lot of free time. There will be children who take that frustration out on other kids. Parents need to be conscious of this possibility and schedule check-ins both to ensure their child is okay and behaving appropriately. 

With parents and children home, most households are getting back to family dinners. Parents can use those dinners not just to discuss cyberbullying but to talk about how their children are feeling in general — if they are feeling isolated, lonely or stressed. 

Although our concern is of course cyberbullying, what we are more likely to see is kids reaching out to one another as a support system. The upside to having all this connectivity is that sad and lonely children may actually have increased support.

We often see this in children who are hospitalized. They can feel very isolated. Having that virtual connection, the online social availability of their friends, really helps combat some of those feelings of loneliness and isolation. The hope would be that the social aspect of the connection that's going on in many homes right now with increased device use will outpace any uptick in cyberbullying. But it will be up to parents to make sure they are providing the guidance and supervision necessary to ensure that these online interactions are positive ones.

Human race has proven to overcome from all extremes the world has gone through may be it is a Plague, World Wars, Great Recession and many more. We have learnt lessons and we need to adapt and evolve every time and it’s a never ending process. This reminds of words of great genius Albert Einstein  that, “ Everything is Relative.”

Einstein gifted us with his inventions during the pandemic. Let us wait for the next ‘Science Genius’ from this Pandemic. It can be ‘YOU’. So, Let us work together to prevent the online propagated method of bullying.

CYBERBULLYING AND STUDENTS

The humanitarian crisis has cultivated a ‘New Normal’ vitality for all of us. Ranging from quarantine greenhouse dates to online classes and good-byes, we all have harmonized to the culture. Technology played an integral role in maintaining the continuity as it brought new dimensions to the responsibilities of educators and mentors. 

But we need self-introspection to rethink the ethical use of technology. If Zoom is that easy to hack into, it’s likely to expect kids and teens trying to follow suit. The era where gadgets are the ‘toys’ for the kids plus the ‘Lockdown’ has increased the fear of ‘Cyberbullying.

 

Cyberbullying is defined as “sending or posting harmful or cruel text or images using the Internet or other digital communication devices”. 

Cyberbullying involves the use of information and communication technologies, such as e-mail, cell phone and pager text messages, instant messaging, defamatory personal Websites, and defamatory online personal polling Websites, to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behaviour by an individual or group that is intended to harm. 

In India, an estimated 71 million children aged between 5-11 years access the Internet on devices of their family members, constituting about 14 percent of the country's active Internet user base of over 500 million. Two-thirds of internet users in India are in the age group of 12-29 year (Data shared by the Internet & Mobile Association of India). Data and statistics have highlighted that post lockdown, the internet has amplified the risk of cyberbullying, including online discrimination for children and young people.

 

Cyberbullying ranges from flaming to Catfishing. 

•    Flaming is a confrontation often happens in online spaces, which entails one or more bullies attacking a particular person for their views or comments.

•    Exclusion is singling-out of the targeted person and to purposefully exclude them from chats.

•    Cyberstalking is a type of harassment that involves one or more bullies going to great lengths to gather information about a particular person, continually frightening or threatening them, following them around social media and other sites, and potentially crossing the line into physical stalking.

•    Outing is the malicious release of private information about a person to embarrass or humiliate by spreading rumours about someone’s personal life, sexuality etc. through pictures, screenshots, videos.

•    Masquerading is creating a fake identity to harass someone anonymously or to impersonate someone else, often called “fraping,” such as pretending to be the victim or a significant other to create a negative reputation for the victim. 

•    Trolling is to provoke victims through the use of insults, controversial topics or off-topic posts into acting out in a similarly angry way.

•    Catfishing refers specifically to those cyberbullies who steal photos and information from a victim’s social media account and recreate a fake one of their own, mimicking and pretending to be the victim. 

Students with higher risk of being bullied are often targeted because of their visible appearance, 

Of all children who are bullied, more than one third reported bias-based bullying, a form of bullying that targets someone because of who they are or what they look like. Potential victims include LGBTQ youth, students with disabilities, and religious students, especially those who wear symbols of their religion. Students with a higher risk of being bullied are often targeted because of their visible appearance.

Girls and young women are targeted due to body image or sexuality, and are more often harassed over social media. Girls are more likely than boys to be victims of cyberbullying; bullying statistics show that 38% of girls who use social media report being bullied online, compared to 26% of boys.

Cyberbullying Self-Harm

If left unchecked, the effects of cyberbullying can lead to extreme stress and depression, and students who are victims may feel drawn to self-harm as a result of their experiences. 

However, the victims of bullying are not the only ones who are vulnerable to self-harm and suicidal behaviours. 

Young people who cyberbully others are at a significantly higher risk of experiencing these feelings than those who don’t.

Cyberbullying can be devastating for victims and their families. The psychological harm inflicted by cyberbullying, just like bullying, is reflected in low self-esteem, school failure, anger, anxiety, depression, school avoidance, school violence, and suicide. 

It is even possible that the damage from cyberbullying would be greater than bullying because there is no escape for the victims; harmful material could be easily preserved as well as quickly and widely spread.

For the cyberbullies, the consequences of their actions can be very severe, including being suspended or expelled from school and being removed from sports teams, clubs, and activities. Certain types of cyberbullying can even be considered criminal.

What did students do after they were cyberbullied? 

Apparently, only a few try to take revenge; the majority of students chose not to inform anyone. Some chose to get away from the cyberbully. Few try to take revenge on the cyberbully or bully others.  

Some inform parents and siblings. Few students reported to school adults (e.g., teachers, school administrators).

“If you were cyberbullied at school or at home, would you report the incident to a school counsellor, teacher, or administrator?”

 ‘NO’, that’s what most of the students answer.

The secret of Cyberbullying being SECRETIVE

The fear of not being understood, and made fun of keeps most of the teens away from reporting to their educators. The thought of them getting into trouble either because of being at fault or for no reason made them escape from the best advice. 

‘Why are you exacerbating the problem?

Parents remarks like: ‘We are restricting your access to technology. So, No Phone, No Social Media.”

Some thought it was “no big deal.” 

The above reasons reflect the importance of teaching students about, ‘ Cyber threats’. 

What are students' beliefs about cyberbullying? Why do they think people behave this way?

Some think various factors cause the problem, ranging from feeling insecure, angry, jealous, or mean, to feeling bored or having family issues. A troubling finding, however, is that the majority believe that cyberbullies do it for fun. 

Even more disturbing is the fact that one in five perceived cyberbullying as a “cool” act. This might be explained by students' perception that technology is exciting. These students might think that using it for aggressive acts is creative. Further, they might not realize the seriousness of cyberbullying.

 For example, one student's narrative, “I bully online and it does not mean anything,” demonstrates that some fail to see the negative effect of cyberbullying or bullying on victims. The actual reason behind this perception is unclear; nonetheless, it deserves our serious consideration because this is a potentially dangerous perception.

 Some think that nothing can be done about Cyber victims. Some summarize this feeling: “No one cares. Deal with it yourself.” Some hold the belief that this is a serious problem and needs to be stopped. 

Another serious theme emerged relating to freedom of speech. One in six students considered that people have the right to say anything they want, even if what they say hurts someone or violates someone's privacy. 

So, How can we combat cyberbullying yet respect and exercise our freedom of expression? 

Although we understand that there is no absolute freedom of speech, balancing the two is the ultimate question.

One out of three students believes that what happens online should stay online which reflects a general perception that cyberspace is separated from the real world. But what we do online affects what we do in real life. 

Designing educational systems: Creating our future in a changing world

Addressing cyberbullying should be a collective effort on the part of schools, families, students, and society. Because cyberbullying happens outside of school boundaries, schools might direct such issues back to parents, saying that they have no legal jurisdiction. However, cyberbullying can be rooted in school or vice versa, even if the incidents appear to be initiated using school property. This requires schools to consider the development of comprehensive programs to fight cyberbullying, including detailed and unified policies as well as effective programs to educate students. 

Establishment of Systematic Programs 

First, schools need to establish systematic programs to stop cyberbullying. Such programs should develop strong policies on both traditional bullying and cyberbullying.

 Administrators should investigate current acceptable-use policies for technology (e.g., mobile, Internet) in the schools. Telling others such as school adults or family members remains an effective strategy for combating cyberbullying. 

It is important to establish easy and multiple ways of reporting. For example, we could create help lines (e.g., a phone line), e‐mail, or Web links, and provide a box or similar device in hot spots in schools so students can report incidents or offer suggestions anonymously.

Teaching about Cyberbullying

Second, schools should educate school adults, students, and parents about cyberbullying and provide clear procedures to follow when cyberbullying occurs.

 At the fundamental level, adults, including teachers and parents, need to keep pace with new technology to understand how students communicate and how cyberbullying happens. Effective strategies, therefore, need to be included in school adults' professional development opportunities. Schools can also provide opportunities for parents to learn such strategies.

 

Similarly, approaches to cyberbullying issues need to go beyond the one-time workshop mode for students and be part of regular curriculum learning. 

Such education can take place in different school situations, including classrooms, assemblies, and continuing education programs. For example, schools can use forums not only to mediate between cyberbullies and cyber victims, but also to offer opportunities for students to develop adaptive skills, such as dealing with emotional conflict and building positive behavioral patterns. Such forums help to build a strong rapport and trustworthy relationships between students and school adults as well as among students. 

Responsibilities associated with the use of Technology 

Students, a key group in fighting cyberbullying, need to learn responsibilities associated with the use of technology. They should be aware of the consequences of misuse of technology so that responsible behaviours can be promoted at an early age. They need to understand the dangers that exist and the importance of getting help from responsible adults when cyberbullying occurs. 

PANDEMIC & MAKING THE BEST USE OF IT 

Cyberbullying has been on the rise before lock down – some reports suggest that just 20% of bullying takes place at school now. The strain placed on mental health caused by being confined to the home for weeks at a time could be making matters worse. These unusual circumstances means that some kids may be venting their frustration online – and their classmates become the targets.

With the aim of addressing these concerns, the National Council of Educational Research and Training (NCERT) and UNESCO New Delhi Office developed an information booklet titled “Safe online learning in the times of COVID-19” to raise awareness of students and teachers on staying safe online. The booklet will be instrumental in keeping children, young people safe online through basic do’s, and don’ts that will help parents and educators teach their children how to use the internet safely.

“UNESCO is committed to ensure access to safe, inclusive and health promoting learning environments for all children. It is imperative that websites, digital platforms, social media platforms are free of Cyberbullying, if children have to access quality education. This information booklet titled ‘Safe online learning in times of Covid19’ highlights the negative consequences of cyberbullying and ways to eliminate and prevent the same”. UNESCO and NCERT are pleased to develop this booklet and hope that it acts as a valuable tool in creating a safer online environment.”

                        -Eric Falt, Director and Representative, UNESCO New Delhi

• Pandemic and Parents : Working together

With COVID-19 closing schools in many states, children are turning to online schooling and with this comes a huge increase in device use by most children and teens. This is actually a wonderful opportunity for parents to spend some time talking with their child as to what cyberbullying means, and to talk through issues their child may be experiencing. It is also a great time for parents to establish guidelines and take the time to check-in and ensure that their child’s online behaviour is acceptable.

Younger children and tweens really should not be having “privacy” from their parents online. Parents need to be empowered to oversee what their elementary and middle school children are doing and with whom they are chatting. 

To think there wouldn’t be any cyberbullying during this time would be unrealistic, especially with so many children having excess frustration and a lot of free time. There will be children who take that frustration out on other kids. Parents need to be conscious of this possibility and schedule check-ins both to ensure their child is okay and behaving appropriately. 

With parents and children home, most households are getting back to family dinners. Parents can use those dinners not just to discuss cyberbullying but to talk about how their children are feeling in general — if they are feeling isolated, lonely or stressed. 

Although our concern is of course cyberbullying, what we are more likely to see is kids reaching out to one another as a support system. The upside to having all this connectivity is that sad and lonely children may actually have increased support.

We often see this in children who are hospitalized. They can feel very isolated. Having that virtual connection, the online social availability of their friends, really helps combat some of those feelings of loneliness and isolation. The hope would be that the social aspect of the connection that's going on in many homes right now with increased device use will outpace any uptick in cyberbullying. But it will be up to parents to make sure they are providing the guidance and supervision necessary to ensure that these online interactions are positive ones.

Human race has proven to overcome from all extremes the world has gone through may be it is a Plague, World Wars, Great Recession and many more. We have learnt lessons and we need to adapt and evolve every time and it’s a never ending process. This reminds of words of great genius Albert Einstein  that, “ Everything is Relative.”

Einstein gifted us with his inventions during the pandemic. Let us wait for the next ‘Science Genius’ from this Pandemic. It can be ‘YOU’. So, Let us work together to prevent the online propagated method of bullying.

Writing about the members of a community which has been facing prejudices from time immemorial is not easy. The apartheid faced are intense which can easily destruct the very person’s mental stability, driving them to take a step as of taking their own lives. Even whilst the death of an actor has enraged millions which drove everyone to post the trending hashtag #mentalhealthmatters  makes them believe it will help those suffering. At some point of time we all have conjectured people, especially the hijras, from whom we’ve been taught maintain as much distance as we can. But why so? Are they genuinely forgetting about shiv and shakti or trying to ignore it?

Everything happens for a reason; our very existence, actions, everything.  Symbolism exists everywhere around as well in us. The union of Shiv and Shakti is one of the most thunderous and beautiful unification which represents numerous ideologies, one of them symbolising the third gender; transgender, similarly symbolising the importance of gender and harmony amongst them.

Recently, a boy from Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh committed suicide, why? Because apparently, he had feminine features and continued to live in a toxic environment in which his relatives and batchmates continued to bully him. According to his father, he sometimes used to apply make up and dance which he claimed to be a normal behaviour for a person of his age. His classmates drove him to believe he was a transgender. His note read as,

 “I’m sorry papa as I could not be a good son. I have girl-like features and even my face is like them. People laugh at me. Even I have started feeling that I am kinnar (transgender). My life will darken your life and that is the reason why my death is necessary. Please bless me that I take birth as a girl. If a girl is born in our family, then you must believe that I have returned.”

This not only highlights the dark side of the society but also how a school fails to broaden a child’s perspective. During the initial stages it is the parents from whom the child is most influenced by, and eventually, the school is the place where they broaden the perspective. How can idiosyncrasies be changed when the root problem hasn’t been addressed.

Even though India claims to be republic, it still consists of the certain marginalized communities which have been disfranchised and are made even more vulnerable, rendering them helpless. There are numerous other cases which imply the toxicity against the LGBT community.

Whilst travelling in a metro, I overheard a woman, in her late 40s, saying how thankful she was that her kids were “normal” and that her daughter and son were heterosexual. The very aspect of normalcy is befouling. People are not judged for the very nature they possess but on the preference of their sexuality. The war of their rights will unfortunately continue. Even after the abolishment of article 377, they do not have the freedom to celebrate their love by marrying the person they love, even after independence, it was a long journey for them to finally free themselves from the “indictment” and openly express their love, and still have a long journey ahead of them.

Following presented are some interesting facts which a school curriculum does not cover-

• The first U.S gay rights organization, “The Society for Human Rights” (SHR) was founded in 1924 by Henry Gerber, a German immigrant, which was disbanded in 1925 by police raids.


•  The first newsletter which gave voice to the obstacles faced by the community was “Friendship and Freedom”.


• Similarly, the first lesbian rights organization were formed was called “Daughters of Bilitis” with San Francisco being claimed as its birthplace on September 21, 1955.  

But what about India? In India, post-independence. Light was thrown on the community of the people of LGBT when the famous Mathematician Shakuntala Devi published the first study on homosexuality called “The world of Homosexuals”.

In 1977, All Inida-Hijra Conference was held in Agra where 50,000 members travelled to attend the conference!

Another day and yet another year in which the colours of the rainbow flail with pride, bringing a new perspective everyday of every month of every year. Then why is the entire month of June known as the Pride month?

The story behind the name travels back to 1960s, the time when same-sex relations were illegal in The United States of America. The history of this is particularly linked with the New York City. Since the relations were banned all around, the members of this community flocked to bars, clubs which were specifically designed for them, where they could express their true selves without any fear and restriction. Although the New York State Liquor Authority penalized and closed these bars, the activists legalised the rights for these bars to serve liquor, unfortunately, they were not allowed to display their affection publicly. Even though all bars couldn’t receive the liquor license, they still functioned with zeal as a major reason behind this was, they were backed up by the Mafia.

During this period, the Genovese crime family hegemonized the almost all the bars located in the Greenwich Village. One of them was the Stonewall Inn which was renovated into a gay bar in 1967. History states that the Genovese crime family bribed the sixth precinct of the NYPD to ignore the activities being effectuated. Because of the bribery, the family cut off costs which were required for the maintenance of the club. Which also lacked fire exits.

The very club stood out as it welcomed drag queen which faced prejudice in most of the clubs. The bar was only one of a few which allowed dancing.

The morning of June 28 changed the entire course of future thereafter, it was the day the NYPD raided the bar which came to the people as surprise. The raided ended up arresting 13 people which in turn included employees and people who manifested the courage to stand up against the gender appropriate clothing statute. The arrested were aggressively manhandled. This sparked an infuriating protest against the very riot, which also ended up in igniting the place. Numerous gay rights organizations which included GLAAD (formerly Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), PFLAG (formerly Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), etc. Therefore, thousands marched to the streets of Manhattan which was named “Christopher Street Liberation Day” with its official chant being: “SAY IT OUT LOUD, GAY IS PROUD!” The intensive street riots brought on by the enraged members of the community hoped to bring about a change and put an end to the discrimination faced by them for years, as a result of which June 28, 1970 marks one-year anniversary.

America’s 44th President; Barack H. Obama claimed the site of Stonewall Inn, Christopher Park, and the surrounding streets and sidewalks as a national monument in 2016, in respect to the contribution made for the gay rights.

Gradually, to commemorate the very sacrifices, the month experienced a series of events, each year to even more successful than the last, with youth finally accepting their true selves. Unfortunately, they still have a long way to go worldwide.

It is every person’s dream to celebrate their love and tie a knot with the person they love. Unfortunately, most of them are judged and are treated as an inferior because of their sexual preference. But this is not the story of Alexandra Quiros and Dunia Araya, the two Ticos as they tied a knot on MAY 26, 2020.

A ray of hope glimmered on July 1, 2018, where the President made a public apology to the members of the LGBTQ community who had faced a dire situation of descrimination and eventually the issue of same sex marriage was finally raised in August 2018 the constitutional court underlined that ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional and discriminatory, and within a span of 18 months, the ban was overruled.

“Empathy and love should from now on be the guiding principles which will allow us to move forward,” said the tweet of Costa Rica’s President Carlos Alvarado Quesada shortly after the announcement. Costa Rica became the sixth country in Latin America to legalize the law with Argentina, Ecuador, Brazil, Colombia, Uruguay and parts of Mexico and the first country in Central America. It is the 28th UN Member state to legalize same-sex marriage.

According to a survey which was conducted in 2013-14, it was found that non-religious communities , non-practicing Catholics and non-Christian minorities ware in support of the LGBT rights than most of the people who practiced Catholics, Mainline Protestants and Neo-Pentecostals which they believed it to be morally Incorrect and a “curable” disease. Left-wing party Broad Front was one of the first main parties to support the same sex-marriage.

Even though the homo sapiens have progressed through these years with new inventions on every field, we fail to transform to the Homo Novus. Despite these laws, the LGBT community faces discrimination on a daily basis, which isn’t shocking, females have been refused to be accepted an equal. Even though the discrimination against women is a whole another issue in itself, but what’s common between the two issues is that both the genders have the right of acceptance and equality.

The world needs a change in the custom societal idiosyncrasy. Marriage shouldn’t be about shoving the custom down one’s throat, neither Love can ever be forced. Sexuality is the path to self-knowledge which isn’t accepted in the 21st century. Alan Rickman, one of the brilliant master minds, a British mathematician who joined a cryptography team to decipher the German enigma code was homosexual and was convicted to “gross indecency” in March 1952 and was sentenced to 12-month hormone therapy.  Giving in, he finally took his life. Moral of the story being, one does not have the right to own one’s life.  Love isn’t a “curable” disease. Eventually, one either has to let the person embrace their true self or wave them a goodbye.

“Sexuality leads to Self-Knowledge” 

I broke my silence today and whined as loud as I could, “Yes! I’m a Gay. I cherish flaunting with my worn long hair and I fancy dating a lovely man because I’m proud of my individuality.”

I started discovering my intense temptation towards same-sex when I was 14 but I was scared to endorse myself. The impressions of abnormality and medication used to vex me and I was eaten like a horse with, “Self-hatred.”

“Hey Mr. Long Hair, the thresholds of your happiness must be traversing all horizons. Section 377 has been decriminalized. So, confess your love.”, said the teacher, embarrassing me in front of my classmates. So, I broke my silence as my sexuality is my identity. It is part of my behaviour with biological and genetic factors and not an oddity that needs to be medicated. I own my sexual craving which is the most empowering thing to do as it’s the art of living your individuality.

The stigma against LGBTQ students like me ranges from the boy/girl dichotomy while dividing students into groups to usage of anti-LGBT language. Any individual who is homosexual faces discrimination, homophobic and transphobic bullying, social exclusion which leads to emotional health struggles like depression, and even suicide.

Isn’t it hypocritical that a gay/ lesbian has to undergo the journey of Self-hatred in order to step forward to the journey of Self-Love and Acceptance? The ‘Truth’ of being a 'Gay' was a criminal offence to me. What I wish is a safe and comfortable environment to accept and love myself, where my parents, teachers, friends would see me through the lens of equality and respect and support me, the school and home environment would be crafted to empower LGBTQ people and no one has to go through the journey of Self-Hatred to be “Real”. The schools should include a special curriculum on sex culture and sexual orientation so that students like me can learn to understand their identity.

I trusted my intuition as it never lies. Respect your individuality because ‘You Matter.’ So, use this ' Social- Distancing' to express your love as "Love has no boundaries, no gender, no colour. It's eternal."

( A piece of narration by my homosexual friend in my words)